Category: my post

happy holidays to all of the fish and non-fish classical musicians out there!

good luck to all of my college/high school fish friends who are taking finals this week and next week. don’t get stressed about it, you know you’ve always done well in…schools…haha

playing a cringe piece at my fail concert

you’re in his dms, i’m his stand partner. we are not the same.

got my wisdom teeth out and apparently while my mom was trying to get me to my room i told her i’d play her a song on my violin for her birthday and when she said i couldn’t i started sobbing

my RA isn’t even a music major or minor or anything, but they asked if they could play the violin sometime with me cause they wanna get back into it and i’m so Hype

I feel attacked

now, i know what you’re thinking

carp, why are you clearing out your ask box in the middle of the night?

well, i’ve kind of had an epiphany about tumblr: i’m only really active when i’m depressed.

i noticed i’d been using tumblr as a kind of escape from my real life whenever i was depressed or stressed out. i’d be really active for two-weeks or a couple months or whatever, and then essentially drop off the face of the earth once i started to feel better.

and that doesn’t mean i don’t love blogging here and talking to you guys about what i’m passionate about, it’s just an unhealthy form of obsession and escapism i’m trying to curb.

so for the tl;dr –

i probably won’t be super consistently active anymore just because i don’t want to have to rely on tumblr to feel like i have people who like me/care about me/make me happy. if anything, i’d want my music to do that.

sorry this is kind of a mess, just wanted to offer an explanation about my past/current weird activity. that doesn’t mean i’m going on hiatus or anything, it’s just that i’m mostly just queueing my posts now.

quick apologies for being so spotty with my activity. honestly, with how i usually am during the summer i tend to lose motivation for a lot of stuff i care about, even if i enjoy doing it like this blog.

but that’s something i’m definitely working on. it’s the year of our lord, 20gayteen, and the year of self improvement, which includes this

i literally only want to become a music teacher so i can say “-but this is only a theory….a music theory.”